I should be just in my 3rd trimester.
I should be bustling about my kitchen, making pies for tonight, pressing my belly against the counter, straining to reach my different flours. I should be starting to find it difficult to find comfortable sleep positions. I should be bathing in lotion, trying to avoid stretch marks.
But instead I'm jumping up and kneeling on my kitchen counters to easier reach my different flours. I'm sleeping like a log most nights, because I've been staying up late sewing, planning and being productive. I'm remembering to put on lotion, when my skin feels like an alligator's.
In one regard, when moments like this hit me, I feel so empty, like something is missing. (which, honestly, is true.) But at the same time, I feel so full!
God knew that my little one (1.5, as I've started calling him), would be better going straight from the warmth and love of my womb, straight to the eternal warmth and love and joy of His arms. God knew that I would need my full energy and non-hormonal patience for when my sweet boy dumps his entire bowl of soup onto his tray at lunch time. (which just happened, mind you) God knew that my schedule would be so FULL that I would have had a hard time keeping it all together if I was pregnant right now. God knows what I don't-the future.
Maybe, instead of giving birth around New Years, I'll be helping someone move, or help a family with their kids, or just have a wonderful time relaxing with the family at home. Maybe, instead of balancing a newborn and a toddler early next year, maybe I'll be balancing more sewing projects and maybe moving? Maybe, instead of staying home with two kids, I can take my one over to a friend's house and help her with her newborn.
Who knows? Not I.
Even though moments like now, my heart feels heavy, I choose to be content. I choose to have joy. The Lord has given me peace. Yeah, I may not be bouncing around the house today, but I will not wallow in self pity. I am healthy. My husband is healthy and has a wonderful job. My son is healthy and full of energy. (ok, that last bit about his energy may not be the greatest thing...) I just finished some big sewing projects for clients that helped to pay off some costumes I made this summer. Life is good. We are blessed. My little 1.5 is walking with Jesus, meeting family we have in Heaven, experiencing a closeness with God that I have yet to experience!
And we've been busy. I'm making pies today for our ladies retreat tonight. Tomorrow morning I'll be making muffins, then later tomorrow dinner rolls. (and then a cinnamon bun cake and waffles on Sunday!) We're planning Festividad this year for church. We have an anime convention in January. Our cup is full.
The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
So today I'm trying out two new recipes. An Americana Apple Pie and a Moo-Less Chocolate Pie. (I'm especially excited about the chocolate pie, no surprise there! Neither of them are originally my recipe, so here's the two links to both recipes:
The apple pie smells amazing! I just pulled it out of the oven, and I gotta say, it really does smell good. I'm looking forward to cutting it open tonight and trying it out.
I have the crust finished (just use gluten free cookies for the crust), and once my little guy is down for his nap I'll continue on and make the filling. So excited for this one!
|Doesn't that pie look good?!|
|He did this while I was typing. I suppose the spoon just wasn't working fast enough!|